![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
- 23:59 12,953 words. #NaNoWriMo
- 16:28 Dear Lord. I've been cleaning and folding laundry for two hours straight. I'm sweating like a pig. Company will be here soon. Augh! :-)
- 16:42 Company's not coming. I think I'll collapse now.
- 23:24 16,041 words. Boo. Yah. I'll catch up, yet! #NaNoWriMo
I love birthdays. So much that I don't care that TJ has been announcing to everyone that Mommy turned 31 today.I don't look 31, so that's helpful, too.
One of my former co-workers also turns 31 next week. He told me that 31 is the new 21. I like that.
- 22:35 Heading up to take a shower now. When I wake up tomorrow... I'll be 31 years old. Why does that seem so much older than 30?
- 11:12 I've been a member of Mypoints since November 7, 1997. Whoa. That's longer than I've known my husband.
- 23:34 4,862 words for #NaNoWriMo after starting over yesterday. BOOYAH!
- 18:50 It's official. I've started over for #NaNoWriMo. If I'm going to reach 50,000 words in 16 days, I need to write about Ophilia.
- 22:20 I'm wondering if I should scrap my #NaNoWriMo project & start over w/a story I can never sell but could probably reach 50k more easily.
Jillian, Zack, Ali, Brett... wanna come? Consider it a favor to me. I don't like going to these things by myself, and Tom needs to stay home with TJ. :-)
Besides, we can meet at my house ahead of time and carpool there and back. Zack and Jillian, if you both come with me, we can start Star Wars as soon as we get back!
- 20:00 I know where I want this story to go, but not how to get there. *headdesk* #NaNoWriMo
- 21:33 Order 66 makes me tear up every time. #StarWars
"I'm not very well going to hop on the ship just moments before it takes off, Zane," Ophilia replied as she secured the straps on her belongings for the long flight. She had sent all of her "civilian" clothing back to her parents' home, and she was wearing an outfit suitable for the Abbey itself, even it would take some time to get there. The time for playing house with the Lieutenant was over.
Zane caught her hand and made her look at him. "What if you're pregnant? The Inquisitor wouldn't risk the baby by sending you on an assignment... you could come back here..."
"Oh, Zane," Ophilia sighed. "Is that what you've been trying to do?" She touched his face softly. "Don't you know that it was never an option? I can't get pregnant. The Palatine sees to it herself that all of us in the Order... There's a device that gets implanted... Even for the Sisters who remain chaste, there is always the risk of being taken prisoner in battle..."
She couldn't find any more words. The look on his face... he was heartbroken. He'd really hoped to be able to keep her if she had his baby. But children were the duty of other women. Ophilia's duty would never allow her to be a mother or a wife. She didn't think she'd be happy even if she were given the opportunity... But it was very tempting to consider it sometimes. Like now, looking into his eyes...
"When will I see you again?" he whispered.
"You know the answer to that as well as I," she replied. "When duty allows. It could be months... but more likely, it will be years." She dropped her eyes, unable to look at him anymore. "I'm sorry."
"My bed, my house, and my heart will just feel empty without you."
Did he think she was made of steel? Her heart felt tight in her chest.
"I hope you don't let your men hear you talk like that."
She started to breathe a little easier when he began to chuckle.
"Ophilia..." he sighed.
"You need to get yourself a wife, Zane. You deserve happiness with the family I can't give you."
"I could never burden another woman with a husband who could only give her half his heart."
Ophilia forced a smile. "Perhaps you should give up the military and write poetry." She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "I know you want me. I know you love me. But that doesn't mean you can't ever love someone else. It doesn't."
Zane leaned down to touch his lips to hers. His arms wrapped around her, lifting her feet off the floor as he crushed her to his chest, caught up in the kiss. Several long minutes later, he set her down again. Both of their faces were flushed, their chests breathing hard. Ophilia peered up at him with parted lips. Earlier this week, this moment would have been followed by the shedding of clothing and an empassioned tumble in the sheets, but there was no time now. They had made love for the last time this morning.
Ophilia took a step back, unsure if her willpower was strong enough to resist him if he'd tried.
"I have to go."
She picked up her traveling pack and opened the door.
"Ophilia, wait!"
"Goodbye, Zane."
"Ophilia!"
She hastened her footsteps, hurrying toward where the transport would be waiting for her... not looking back.
"May the Emperor protect you, Lieutenant Cromwell."
She didn't know if he could hear her or not. She dared not pause to check. He was still calling out after her. For the first time in what may have been years, Ophilia was crying. He couldn't know, or he'd never be able to let her go. And he had to let her go. He would, in time. She was practically running now.
Scrubbing the tears away with the back of her hand, Ophilia ignored the looks she got from her fellow passengers and she boarded the transport.
"Is everything alright, Sister?"
"The Emperor protects," she replied cryptically.
Damn you, Zane Cromwell, she thought to herself, fighting off new tears as the transport set off into the sky. Damn you for reminding me of everything I've given up and never thought I'd miss.
- Location:Hive Sibellus
- 13:09 Happy 29th birthday to my brother, Joe!
- 14:30 Must continue writing for clients. Even though I'd rather be writing one of my Ophilia stories.
- 14:37 Tom and I need to stop being sick already. I mean, seriously. At least my sore throat is gone now.
- 17:44 Disney Movie Club #FAIL : Thought I was opening Snow White. It was Hannah Montana. Would have retruned to sender. *headddesk*
- 21:04 Chatting about #TGS with some folks on KoL. Wheel of Time chatter makes me happy.
- 22:45 I'm a bad girl. I haven't written anything for #NaNoWriMo tonight. And I'm going to bed in 15 minutes.
"I don't think I'll ever be that healthy."
After I chuckled about that, I admitted that I'm probably never that healthy either.
- Mood:
naughty
- 11:43 What the bagpipes is wrong with Facebook? (Totally using the bagpipes subsititution from last night's HIMYM.)
- 15:01 Is confession really good for the soul, or just a selfish thing that makes people feel better at the expense of others? #philosophical
- 15:02 Don't mind me. I read too much online and watch ridiculous soap operas.
- 15:02 Confession: I need to do more actual work today.
- 17:26 Why must I hear important family news from Tom, who already got it secondhand from his mom?
- 18:06 We couldn't decide what to have for dinner, so we're going to have cheesy garlic bread. It's like fancy open-faced grilled cheese. ;-)
- 20:16 Dude, he might have had an AFFAIR three years ago? Doesn't seem the type. #Heroes
- 23:01 Official #NaNoWriMo count tonight: 2,334 words. That includes a brief prologue and part of the first chapter.
- 11:36 My initial thoughts on The Gathering Storm kl.am/TGSthoughts #TGS #WoT
Please spread the word!
